You know when you’re in a crowded room, and someone squeezes in? It sucks. But you know what’s worse? Someone with a backpack that’s FULL OF STUFF. SOLID. So all you can do is stand there, shoulder to shoulder with the person next to you, with this guy’s backpack hitting you in the face.
- Pusha T G.O.O.D show, Santos Party House
On Sunday night, this couple in front of us were having sex doing the lambada or something. It was a Latin-y show so I don’t know if that’s still a thing. Anyhow, their gratuitous fondling and stuff would have been fine if I could have made sure I kept well away. Instead, the place was packed, so this dude kept shoving his ass into me during each grind. I wanted to barf.
Why do I always sit right next to the girl who wails like a siren each time someone says something funny at a comedy show? You’re in the cheap seats, bitch. Nobody wants to see the butterface behind your shitty cheerleader orgasm screams.
People sometimes film the stage at shows in the dark. That’s pretty stupid. I mean, they could just record audio and it wouldn’t really annoy the people behind them.
Oh, don’t get me started on people who bop along to the music as they film.
I really don’t understand. PUFFY VEST! drinking from a bottle of moet! How does that happen?
Plus, -3467654 points for ramming into our personal space and booty dancing with your hot but vacant girlfriend while doing so. I wish I had a picture so I could immortalize you on the internets. But it’s dark and my shitty iPhone 3G has no flash. Fuck you. You look like you’re nordic. And 12. I hope you die on wall street.
